You know what’s great about the South?

The food. Southerners know how to cook.

You know what’s unfortunate about The South?

The food. Southerners know how to eat.

(the fact that you can’t go out of your house to exercise without facing heat exhaustion for eight months of the year doesn’t help, either)

The New York Times has an article on how American doctors are overpaid and the pay structure is inefficient. Abstractly, that sounds workable, but here are the problems with it:

• While some doctors are overpaid, American doctors have between one and three hundred thousand dollars worth of student loans to pay off and it’s an awfully heavy burden to expect them to do that on $60,000 a year. On the other hand, some of the specialists make ridiculously more than my wife will ever make despite the fact that they more often get comfy 9-to-5 hours. By no coincidence, there’s a shortage in Clancy’s field and fierce competition for specialists, which isn’t exactly efficient.
• There are only two ways to make this happen, neither of which is desirable.
• The first is an NHS-style health care system. The mere thought of that makes both Clancy and I right-wing, anti-government radicals. She did not go through what she went through to be a government bureaucrat. It’s no coincidence that nations with NHS programs bleed doctors to the US despite the administrative headaches with the current system. Along with tort (and to a lesser extent taxes), the specter of the NHS is what keeps doctors so friendly with the Republican Party.
• The second way is by having the doctors be employees of insurance companies. This may be fine in some circumstances (indeed that is the case in some), but Clancy plans to work in the boonies and that would lead to some serious inefficiencies wherein doctors can’t share and split a workload, they’ll be set in stone by insurance companies. That’s the other problem, if you think doctor choice is a problem now, lack of choice will be concrete if doctors are employees of the insurance companies because there will be no way for you to see a doctor that’s not on your insurance plan and each doctor can only be signed up with one insurance company.
• As is the case with many salary positions, there would be a strong incentive to work doctors into the ground. The number of employers nationwide would be severely limited and collusion a given. As a resident on an hourly basis Clancy made only a touch more than half of what I do. Forgive us if we’re mistrustful of another centralized medical payment structure adequately compensating doctors and giving them reasonable hours.
• Half Sigma suggests paying doctors by the hour, which is actually more workable because the insurance companies and patients could be billed for the time they use and it would allow for independent operators. However, it would lead to a sharp, sharp increase in administrative costs, which is already a pretty serious issue.

With all that said, the part of the article that absolutely threw me into orbit was this:

But Dr. Goldman* of RAND said that doctors are misleading themselves if they think the current system serves patients’ needs.

For example, if a diabetic patient visits a doctor, he said, “the doctor is paid to check his feet, they’re paid to check his eyes; they’re not paid to make sure he goes out and exercises and really, that may be the most important thing.”

Because, you see, doctors never, ever tell their patients to watch their weight, eat healthy, and (when applicable) monitor their blood-sugar. No-sirree. But when they do say something, you can absolutely bet that the patient always does what the doctor tells them to.

Doctors are some of the biggest nanny-staters out there. They’re out on front on the dangers of tobacco, obesity, alcohol, drugs, transfats, vaccinations, sedentary lifestyles, and sleep deprivation** and the AMA is generally supportive of pretty aggressive measures by the government to combat these whenever it can. It is absolutely absurd to suggest that doctors are not interested in preventative medicine. It’s patients that are not interested in preventative medicine.

* - In case you’re curious, Dr. Goldman is an academic and not a medical doctor. Not that that means that we should automatically dismiss what he has to say, but I was curious about what kind of doctor would say such a thing and checked up on it.

** - Of course they completely ignore this when it comes to their own.

And I’m becoming an uncle!

I just got off the phone with my mother and my sister-in-law Kelsey is pregnant! They’ve been informally trying since they got married and it finally took. I’m thrilled for Ollie and Kelsey, of course, but also for my mother and father. They’ll now have a little baby to shower their grandpaternal and grandmaternal attentions on and I’m sure the parents-to-be will take advantage of many free babysitting offers.

This is also a relief for Clancy and I. The folks have their grandchildren and that could keep them satiated. I will hopefully not be asked when/if Clancy and I will produce offspring for a while. Not that we’re completely off the hook. I’m sure that they would like at least two of us to have kids, particularly one to pass on the Truman/Hertzog genes (Ollie’s adopted). But this should keep them happy for a while and it’ll lessen the blow if Clancy and I do not have kids.

I think everyone except Ollie is hoping that it’ll be a girl. Mom and Dad got three sons. Mom, having been raised with two sisters, is perfectly find with that. Dad, on the other hand, never had a little sister (he has two older ones conceived before Grandfather’s stint in WW2 and he and his brother conceived after) or even much in the way of nieces. He has one niece that was raised in California and even almost all of his siblings’ grandkids were boys. Two of the grand-nieces were raised in California and he only recently got a grandniece in the south but still several hours away. Dad’s bonded with the grandniece, but she lives a few hours away and it’s a hard connection to maintain. Dad needs a little girl to shower with paternal attention.

Interestingly, Clancy’s family tree is as polluted with females as mine is with males. Most of her mother’s siblings were female and almost all of her cousins are female. It will be interesting to see what Clancy and I have if we breed.

Fun, but more than a bit silly.

There was one thing that I wanted to make sure of before I left Wurzburg, but there was a two year old in my way. I can’t remember how little Luke got into my arms, but the kid had taken an almost instantaneous liking to me at the week-before-Christmas party. and had latched on to me for much of the event. It was difficult to get too far into conversation with the radiant female medical student I had just met when he wanted to kick the beach ball around every five minutes or so, but at the same time I did like little Luke and my indulging him was impressing her. The result was that the hug that the goodbye hug that she and I shared was more of a sideways deal. That would have to do.

Rick, Penny, and I were barely in the car before Rick was reminding me that I was the party’s scribe and that he expected to see a post about it all within a week or so. It was the cost of the invite and the ride all the way out there and back. That was no problem on my end, though. There was a lot to write about. A week or two before Christmas Rick always threw a Christmas party at his beach house. It was always an eventful two or three day affair. I could write about going out on the sailboat, going rowing and falling into the cold December drink, playing ball with the two year old that latched himself to me, and all manner of fun stuff. But the biggest question is what I would write about Clancy Himmelreich, the medical student I could not get out of my mind but with whom a relationship was impossible and airing too much would make things a little complicated in that social circle.

The first thing I did when I got back was visit my folks. Mom and I got into a late-night conversation where she lamented my brother’s imminent proposal to Brynn. That, combined with Ollie’s romantic listlessness since his divorce and nothing on my romantic horizon how she was going to die without being a grandmother. The only comfort I had was telling her about the medical student I had just met, even though I told her that things couldn’t work because she lived across the state and then was going to move way out west somewhere. Mom, really impressed with the “medical student” part and the fact that I actually mentioned a woman to her (which I rarely did precisely because of her reaction that night), said “You should move out there with her!!” She wasn’t sober and today has no recollection of that conversation.

When I got back to my apartment I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to write. Every draft seemed to focus pretty intently on Clancy. So I revised it down and revised it down. I turned the romantic chemistry I felt for her into something unromantic, portraying her as almost a guardian keeper that managed to have extra of everything I forgot to bring. I emphasized and re-emphasized my friendship with Luke and mentioned just about everything I could remember that didn’t have to do with her just to try to have parity. I thought that by the time I was done I had turned it into a fun-filled trip with a lot of enjoyment, some of it including my guardian keeper and partner-in-crime Clancy. I had put in enough to express appreciation for her company, but not enough to give anything away.

Meanwhile, in Delianapolis, Clancy was checking my blog on a daily basis waiting for my post to appear. When it finally did, she read through and began to grin from ear to ear. “Yes!” she said aloud, “He’s totally into me!”

Subtlety never was my strong suit.

Monmark has a new mascot, it would seem. Out on the loading dock there is a kitty that has started hanging around. We can’t agree on how long it’s been hanging out with us. Most of us think it’s a she for no real reason in particular. She’s around whenever it’s not raining. When it rains a couple other stray cats (none appearing to be its mother) start hanging around and we think that scares her off. She’s becoming increasingly comfortable around people, which wasn’t hard because at the first sight of humanity it used to jet under one of the stationary trains. Now it’s willing to dart from one train car to another even when we’re outside and even play with some stray cardboard in our presence, though it won’t come near any of us even when we have food. One coworker has taken to feeding her, though, which she takes advantage of. No sign of the mother anywhere.

I have a coworker with a trap if we find someone that wants to take it and I’ve got pictures on my cubicle seeing if anyone wants a new kitty cat. So far no takers, though a couple people said that I have to take it down when and if their wives ever come because they’d be getting a new kitty cat whether the husbands want it or not.

Below are some pictures. The kitty is not actually as big as it might appear in the photographs, though in the last week or so it seems to have had a growth spurt. Prior to the growth spurt it seemed stationary, making us wonder if it was a midget cat or something.

(more…)

Within the QA department, nobody within the department ever turns on the light. On days when our boss doesn’t show up, the light does not get turned on all day. On the other hand, we know that when the light is turned on we know that our boss has arrived.

To get into our apartment, you have to pass through an iron gate. No one can pass through the iron gate unheard, it’s impossible.

We have decided that when/if we have kids, we want a loud, iron gate. All the better to make sure that we know when they get home at three in the morning.

These kinds of warning signs are really quite priceless.

I’m presently 2/3 the way finished with the final Harry Potter book. Here are some thoughts on The Deathly Hallows as well as the rest of the Potter enterprise (absolutely, positively no spoilers).

James Dobson has joined other Christian leaders in denouncing Potter, saying “given the trend toward witchcraft and New Age ideology in the larger culture, it’s difficult to ignore the effects such stories (albeit imaginary) might have on young, impressionable minds.” This is the kind of thing that when some Christians see themselves portrayed doing they complain about anti-Christian bias. It’s beyond absurd. It’s the product of little minds that see anyone whose minds might expand beyond their narrow focus as something of a threat. I knew that there were some conservative family groups taking an anti-Potter stand, but I didn’t know that it was people as influential as Mr. Dobson. Good thing for the publisher that Dobson doesn’t seem to actually speak for very many Christians, or else they wouldn’t have such a success on their hands.

As with the other novels, I am actually listening to this via audiobook. The first five were loaned to me by a friend. The sixth, however, had a very different guy reading. I came to discover that I had previously been listening to the British version but had inadvertently switched to the American version for book six. You wouldn’t think that they would need two versions since both readers speak with a British accent, but I guess some of the words are changed up a bit (besides the Philosopher/Sorcerer Stone bit).

Jim Dale, the voice for the American series, has won praise and awards for his work, but Stephen Fry of the UK reading is ridiculously better. Dale does the sinister voices very well, but he has a tendency to make all of the voices sound sinister, even sweet little fifteen year old girl characters. At the very least they sound like 50-year smokers. Fry, on the other hand, has much more balance and his readings for some characters (Luna Lovegood and the House Elves in particular) are simply outstanding. I made sure to track down a British version for the last book.

While ripping and preparing the audio for my Pocket PC, I had to test the various tracks to make sure that they worked. I wasn’t that worried about spoilers because how much can you really learn in five second snippets. A lot, as it turns out, I swear that I stumbled upon one recap scene after another. It went like this (though here I am totally making up the spoilers): FFWD “Sargon has been killed and Voldemort has taken the east castle, Harry, what are we going to do?” FFWD “With Mildred, Hildemas, and Syer all dead, Harry had no idea to whom to turn.” FFWD “You mean Voldemort’s been under the control of Fred Weasley this entire time, Harry?!” FFWD “So the white dove’s clue was that I needed to go to Hogwarts and steal the portrait of Hufflepuff! It’s so clear now!” FFWD “Drat! Drat! Potter has just killed me with the candlestick in the basement!” Voldemort lamented…. anyhow, you get the idea. I know way more than I should having only listened to ten or so chunks of five or ten second tidbits.

A couple logistical things:
Estimation of the magic population
The genetics of magic-users
Ideology and Fictitious Evil Overlords

Today is the going away party for Mal. Even though they’re hosting a party at the toniest restaurant in Almeida, I won’t be attending. Apparently spending yet another hour with him is not worth a $25 meal.

Most people mentally check out when they give two weeks notice. Instead, Mal seems to believe that it means everything absolutely must be fixed before he leaves and he is more stressed than ever.

Yesterday the company make an unquestionably good decision. We’re all very confused.

I came to the odd realization that our product is better when it is 90% done than when it is 100% done. I should explain how that is the case some time.

Out network has not been fully operational for the last week. It’s prevented us from being able to do our jobs. Our IT department acts like the outage is an Act of God completely beyond their control. The Project Managers are incapable of understanding that if we can’t do something because of a network outage, that means that if the network is still out two days later it still hasn’t been done.

They posted an ad for Mal’s replacement. Our thought was “Gosh, it would be really cool if we had project managers that could actually do all of these things.”

They’ve more or less assured that no one in the company is qualified to be promoted into that job. One of the differences between Japanese business culture and American business culture is that in Japan it is considered a matter of respect that you promote from within. In America, they don’t care that it is a big “f-you” to your employees when you give all your prestige position to outsiders.

They’ve also made sure that nobody anywhere that is qualified would want to take it with their listed salary range. A lot of companies really don’t seem to realize that the day that you can require a stratospheric skillset and level of experience for bargain prices is over. People actually have options. Well, outside of rural Deseret, anyway!

We use the product of a software company in Germany. Their latest product crashes Windows and when we called the software company they basically told us where we could shove our complaint. Rather than go back to the previous version of this software that worked perfectly, management has insisted that we use the new, buggy version, because it has new features (that we never use) despite the fact that the old features (that we do use) stopped working. The German company has finally stopped ducking our calls and have agreed to putting a couple of people on the problem to see if they can fix it. Now that they’re being more agreeable cooperative, my employer has decided to threaten them with an ultimatum.

When I got into work yesterday morning, my computer would not boot. It didn’t recognize the hard drive as being there. I opened the computer and took the hard drive out to show to IT to get a new one. After I took it out I saw that about eight of the little HD pins were cockeyed. All cockeyed in different directions, too, suggesting that they got all bent out of shape the last time someone plugged the ribbon in. But if they were that out of shape the HD should never have worked in the first place. I straightened the pins out and the computer worked again.

Addendum: Holy cow, how does one respond when confronted with a classy, good-faith goodbye from a coworker they’ve spent most of their time badmouthing? I thought he was as likely to recomment to my boss that I be fired as he was to even say goodbye at all. Instead he said all manner of complimentary things. Gah! I’m scum. Unless, of course, he did it to make me feel like scum! Well played, Mal, well played…

A new movie (remaking an old movie and broadway production) is in theaters this week, called “Hairspray.” The plot synopsis given by IMDB is: “Pleasantly plump teenager Tracy Turnblad teaches 1962 Baltimore a thing or two about integration after landing a spot on a local TV dance show.”Regrettably, though I’m sure the movie’s fun and the musical numbers are entertaining (and it could be one of the first times John Travolta’s actually been watchable in years), I’m not so sure the movie has the right message.

Society’s got a love-hate relationship with body image. On the one hand, the weight/shape standards for women have become increasingly unrealistic; two cases in point would be Marilyn Monroe and Angela Lansbury, who were highly attractive actresses in their time but probably would be considered “fat” by producers today (Monroe was 5′ 5.5″ and around 120 pounds, which is pretty darn healthy but sure ain’t a size 0; the “in-crowd” these days are 5′8 or higher and under 90 pounds).

On the one hand, the film gives the message that a fat girl can still achieve her dreams, get the cute guy, etc. On the other hand, it does nothing to show the girl taking control for herself - regulating what she eats, exercising, showing some self-restraint. And I’m sorry to say that the words “pleasantly plump”, regrettable as it may be, are a euphemism for “a girl who needs some medical help before she develops obese-onset diabetes” in the case of this actress.

For point of reference, my household was not filled with skinny people. My family background is germanic and celtic for the most part; short, relatively plump people. However, even if none of my family will ever fit into small-size clothing, they were all active. My father was very reliable about a morning volleyball group and running; my mother taught aerobics and water aerobics; my grandfather is an organist and trombonist in addition to his own walks; my grandmother (before a tragic accident that cost her the use of her legs) walked with my grandfather and participated in aerobics and water aerobics as well. Fast food meals were the exception rather than the rule in our house.

Does everyone need to be a supermodel? Of course not. On the other hand, should the message be to children/teenagers who are seriously overweight that it doesn’t matter, or should it be that they need to control what they eat, exercise responsibly, and speak with their doctor if the weight doesn’t come off?

I would hope that the second message is what we should be teaching. Alas, instead of the healthy middle ground, we’re stuck oscillating between girls who drive themselves into sickness (anorexia/bulemia/other eating disorders) in pursuit of an unattainable Size 0 goal, or giving up so far that they destroy their own bodies, causing all sorts of other health risks with binge eating and lack of exercise.

And then I remember a fundamental shift - reading one of my dad’s old comic books (I think from 1971) I saw an ad for a product I considered unthinkable: a product advertised to young women who were too skinny to be considered attractive.

How far we’ve come!

(Addendum: yes, I am aware that young boys are taught unhealthy things too - everyone wants to be the overly muscled football star, etc. However for some reason, the “unhealthy weight” aspect is drilled into girls a lot more than into boys, probably because men don’t spend nearly as much time watching nearly-naked men prancing down a runway in fashion shows or seeing nearly-naked men on the cover of fashion magazines, as opposed to the myriad products marketed towards women this way.)

Saturday Night on our back porch.

10:30: I apologize profusely to my mother for the fact that I got in so late. The flight was running late and I decided that I needed to go straight to the wedding shower. She’s unusually understanding. We set up shop in the porch for a late night chat. Mom is on her first glass of wine

11:00: I am surprised that we managed to talk for an entire half-hour without my sister-in-law coming coming. I’m proud of my mother’s restraint.

11:02: My sister-in-law comes up. I change the subject as quickly as I can but I am ultimately unsuccessful. Mom starts her second glass of wine.

11:30: As Mom goes on and on about how disappointed she is that Mitch married Brynn. Part of me gets a silent kick out of the fact that her frustration is aimed at Mitch The Perfect Brother. The other part of me knows that her frustration is born from the fact that he is their favorite. Well, not favorite as in they love Ollie or I any less, but he was the one that they had the highest hopes for. Had I brought home someone as difficult to relate to as Brynne, Mom would have disappointedly rolled her eyes and maybe shrugged, but would have most likely thought “It figures”. She’s 2/3 the way through with her second glass of wine.

12:00: With a slurred voice, Mom curses Mitch’s previous girlfriend Priscilla for not waiting just a little bit longer. Priss was in “fish or cut bait” mode while Mitch had all the time in the world by his clock. Mom says three times how much she loved Priss. Back when they were together, Mom disliked Priss. Nowhere nearly as much as she dislikes Brynne, mind you, but there were some negative qualities that she has since forgotten. She’s a quarter the way through her third glass of wine.

12:05: Getting up to use the bathroom, Mom’s hand slips on the table. The glass of wine is spilt all over my pants.

12:30: The subject of our inheritance has some up. Mom wants to leave a college fund for their grandkids, but Dad doesn’t think that’s right because that means that Mitch and Brynne will get shortchanged since they don’t want to have kids. Mom believes that they won’t need the money because they won’t have any kids to send through college. I’m with Mom on this one (not that I’m biased or anything), but we’ve had this discussion before and it’s a depressing one for a host of reasons.

1:00: I mention to Mom that I would like the sailboat painting above the fireplace. Every fireplace needs a sailboat painting above it, in my estimation. Mom gets up and gets a sharpie and attempts to write on the back of it that the painting will go to me. Her writing is unintelligible. She’s finishing up the fourth glass of wine.

1:30: She’s talking about her planned cruises. I don’t care, but at least it’s not a depressing conversation. She gets excited when she talks about travel. It’s become apparent that she’s not going to church after all. She celebrates this by pouring another glass of wine.

2:00: She drops her cigarette and it rests on the chair between her legs. She looks and shifts around in her chair looking for it. I tell her that it’s on the ground. It isn’t, but as predicted it falls there as soon as she gets up to look. Even though the cigarette is lit, she lights it again. She gets up to get her sixth glass of wine.

2:30: She’s talking about Dad now. She’s recounting how when they first met marriage was the last thing that she wanted but that he was such a good guy she couldn’t let that opportunity pass by. It’s a nice, pleasant story, but ruined by her wondering if Dad thinks he made a mistake by marrying her. I can’t tell if she’s trying to drag me into an argument where I can say that of course he doesn’t. I don’t get drawn because I’m honestly not entirely sure.

3:00: She spills the cardboard box while trying to fill the sixth glass. She doesn’t have the dexterity to pick the box back up again. Thankfully it’s almost empty so spill is kept to a minimum.

3:30: After six glasses she’s reached the point where further conversation is impossible. She slips into this almost catatonic state where she stairs blankly. I have a “three strikes and your out” policy and the third time it happens I suggest that she go to bed.

9:00: As I go out to the kitchen, I remember how much I really don’t like the smell of wine. Unfortunately it has more-or-less consumed the kitchen. I decide to go back to bed.

Having run in anime circles for nearly a decade now, I’ve run across a disproportionate number of people that have an interest in Japanese culture. My friend Quen speaks Japanese pretty fluently, as does my Deseret friend and coworker Milton. My friend Clint tried to take some classes and a group of us considered going to Japan to teach English in the JET program.

Generally speaking I believe it to be a good thing to be interested in cultures outside of America and Europe and I applaud all those that went beyond just watching anime and chose to learn about the culture. There is an underside to this, however. More than a few people that have done so turn around and use what they’ve learned to demonstrate their internationale cred at the expense of actual enlightenment.

To put a finer point on it, a number of Japanophiles I know are quick to argue that Japanese culture is superior to American culture. They point to Japanese artistic work (more than just anime and manga, usually), their long traditions, embracing of Buddhist (or any non-Christian, really) religion, and every way that their culture differs from ours as proof that their culture is more enlightened than ours. Implied is that they, by appreciating said culture, are more enlightened than we are. It’s an extension of the traveling abroad issue recently mentioned by Bob.

Even that wouldn’t bother me if these people didn’t so often complain about American culture in the ways that it is like and even less extreme than Japanese culture. For instance, the same people that exalt Japanese culture often complain about (to pick two examples) American conformity and the failure of our government to respect our rights. Say whatever great things you want about Japanese culture, but by any reasonable measure these are not things in which the Japanese demonstrate a better record than the US.

Quite the opposite, actually.

As a disclaimer I want to say outright that I am not saying that American culture is superior to Japanese culture. It’s beside the point even if it is true. Japan has its problems (not unlike America), but it remains a prosperous, cohesive nation that went from decimation during World War II to an economic powerhouse. Which culture is “better” depends largely on who you are. It depends on your social status, your economic status, and probably more than anything else your temperament. Some people are more naturally suited to American culture, some people more naturally suited to Japanese. So having said that bear in mind that I intend the distinctions between cultures to be relatively value-neutral simply because I don’t want to get into a discussion over superior and inferior cultures.

With that out of the way, it stretches credibility beyond the breaking point to say that American culture demands more conformity than Japanese culture or that Americans are further on the policing spectrum than the personal rights spectrum when it comes to law enforcement. But logic isn’t the point, feeling superior is. They see Japanese conformity as fundamentally different from American conformity. Better in some indescribable way that a simpleton like myself could never possibly understand.

Good grief, I really hate people sometimes.

As mentioned last week, the power system at my alma mater, Southern Tech University, left a lot to be desired. This was particularly true at Greenwood, the aging dorm that I lived in from my sophomore to my senior years. Around my sophomore year I decided that to help beef up my networking skills I would have two computers instead of one. With some help from my friends, my two computers became three computers pretty quickly as I needed a file server so that I didn’t have to worry about one computer being screwed up by the other goofing up. As long as no applications were running on the fileserver, it remained reliable, but running any application on Windows 95 and Windows 98 presented risks. It’s easy to take for granted how stable Windows has become since Windows 2000.

In our dorm we also had a fridge and a microwave. My roommate also had a computer. This proved to be more than the room could handle, no matter how evenly we tried to distribute the technology. Worse yet, whenever a short would occur it would take out the whole wing of the dorm. Outages weren’t constant, but they weren’t infrequent, either. The further into the semester we got, the more frequent they started to become, however. It got to the point that we would cross our fingers whenever we’d put something in the microwave. For some reason, it was the microwave beeping that seemed to be what pushed it over the edge. It didn’t matter whether it was beeping because it was done or beeping because we told it to stop.

There started to become incidents when we’d come home and the power would be off without the assistence of microwave. Then I started coming home and the power would be on, but my computers would be unplugged. Apparently the electrical team decided that my computers were part of the problem. Fair enough, but they also spoiled a lot of food by unplugging our fridge. So I took the hint and simply stopped turning on all of my computers. Except when I was working on networky things, I could just use the fileserver.

Then one day I came home and every last appliance in our room (right down to our alarm clocks) was unplugged. We also had a “warning” slipped under our door that we had caused the power to go out and if it happened again they reserved the right to impose a fine on us. They specifically cited my computer set-up as the chief culprit. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I informed them that my computers were off at the time and asked what we could do to start using less power. They said that as long as it was just a couple computers, a fridge, and a microwave we should be fine.

We weren’t fine. The next week I came home and everything was unplugged again. Another warning on our door about the excessive power usage. My roommate and I just shrugged. We’d done all we could. The power went out again and this time we got a $50 fine. Not only were my extra computers not on, I had actually unplugged them from the surge protector. Naturally, they didn’t check that.

It’s SoTech’s policy not to graduate anyone that has any outstanding fines. Nor would we be allowed to enroll in classes. This concerned Hubert and I because he was supposed to graduate and I still had a couple credits to pick up that fall so I would need to enroll in classes. We decided to petition the fine. The first “hearing” was set while we were still living on campus. We decided to delay the hearing until that summer. Hearings didn’t happen over the summer so it was pushed back to that fall. Neither of us were living on campus that fall. He had already graduated and for me they must have simply forgotten about it because I did end up getting my degree.

So technically I still owe Southern Tech $50. That’s okay, though, because they owe me $125 or so. Or rather the state does. The Delosa State Treasurer’s office has my name on a database of people the state owes money to. My guess is that it’s uncollected paychecks from columns I used to write for the Daily Packer. I kept procrastinating those piddly $6-8 checks until they’d get turned over to the university’s burser’s office and then over to the state. It added up after a while, I guess. If you’re curious as to why I haven’t collected the paycheck, it’s because I can’t prove that I lived at the address they failed to enter into the system in the first place (my address reads “NULL, DA 00000″).

Shoddy paperwork by the university giveth and shoddy paperwork by the university taketh away.

You ever seen that commercial where everyone keeps asking this guy what’s different about him? They’re all “Did you get a new haircut?” or “Lose some weight?” and he’s all “Nawww” with a big smile* on his face. Then at the end you discover that he just saw his doctor about Viagra or Cialis**?

With the exception of the whole Erectile Disfunction thing, I’m totally that guy today. People are telling me that I look all different. One asked if I got a new haircut, another asked if I’d started smoking pot or something***. No, none of those things. Rather, Malcolm has tendered his resignation!

Malcolm just got back from a two-week vacationright before the release of our new product. This raised some eyebrows since Malcolm never takes time off and just a month or two before he was reluctant to let one of the programmers take some time off so that he could move his family to the Bay Area (a subject for a later post) so close to release. Whenever Mal has taken a vacation in the past he’s always tanned up so that his wide white eyes bug out of his face and he didn’t this time, which causes some suspicions. My coworker Pat pointed out that the last time a Project Manager did this he came back and quit. Back then, it was just a dream. Now it’s a reality.

Everything was different while he was gone on vacation. I had less trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I didn’t dread coming into work. I came home in a better mood every day. I was counting the days until he was coming back with dread. Now I’m counting the days until his departer (one week) with delight. Apparently his wife’s business has taken off and he’s going to help her run it.

When he was hear I constantly told myself how much worse I could have it and how in the greater scheme of things I had one of the more competent, less hard-ass PMs. You know what? Now that he’s leaving I can say that was all BS. Yes he was competent and he was not a hard-ass, but he was so annoying that I would rather have incompetence or hardassery. He was really that bad. Imagine Bill Lumburgh, without the malice but with the obnoxiousness ramped up a couple levels.

* - I’m not talking about the commercial with the dude with the completely creepy/hokey smile. This one is a bit more understated. There may be two, one with a black guy and one with a white guy.

** - Don’t put either of these words in your comment, should you choose to comment. Spamment filters and all that.

*** - That would have made for a much more memorable commercial if someone had said that.

1. Message on the answering machine discovered when I got home.

“This is for Dr. Himmelreich, this is Betsy Smith from McCauley-Jones Funeral Homes calling in regards to an infant you delivered, Juan Carlos Uribe. If you could give us a call back we’d greatly appreciate it. Thank you.”

2. Waiting on in my email box was an email from Tony. Just as he was coming around to the idea of fatherhood, Lara miscarried.

When discussing the death of Mousse’s cooling fan, Will mentions that he has considered Colosse’s power grid to be good compared to the places he is living in.

It got me to thinking - in terms of power grid, I’ve lived in most of the sectors of Colosse now, and I’ve never considered the power grid to be that good.

When I was living at Southern Tech, there was a power surge through one wing of my floor of the dorms that blew out (if I’m remembering correctly) 5 people’s computers, microwaves, TV’s, etc.

When I moved on the south end of the city, in a brand-new house, I quickly realized the importance of having everything (and I do mean *everything* on a surge protector. My roommate Hugh took it one better and had his computer system (as well as the cable modem) on a battery backup supply. Beeping noises from his room in the night were a semi-regular event.

When I moved into my own apartment, I kept the wisdom of putting absolutely everything on a surge protector - and it did a lot of good when a water leak shorted out an outlet. I had that power strip replaced at no charge from the company, and it saved my media center PC, Xbox, and TV from being killed.

In my current house, power outages were a regular thing until right after two major hurricanes. Right after the hurricanes, everyone trimmed their trees. We still have power outages, though - just about half as frequently as before. It’s a semi-regular occurrence to come home and find that the microwave and stove clocks need resetting.

My collective experiences with Colosse’s power grid have brought me to the point where I’m about as paranoid on power as Hugh. I currently have four battery backup units sitting in the house; one on my roommate’s PC, one on mine, one very large model capable of running a big-screen TV and a computer with a 400W power supply at once in the living room, and one final one attached to my alarm clock.

Yes, a 9-volt battery would be sufficient to keep my alarm clock’s time, but with the battery backup unit I’m sure that I still wake up in the morning even if power’s off.

My total results? I’ve replaced two surge strips so far, and had one battery unit replaced after an unrelated fire. However, in all three cases, the replaced surge strip/battery unit has saved much more expensive equipment (TV, game consoles, computers). I’ve only had one “surge” event, but we have them all the time where I work and I see power outages often enough (as well as brownouts, where power dips low enough to trigger the battery units without completely turning off the house) to warrant the conclusion that Colosse’s power grid is bad, even if Deseret and Estacado’s are worse.

Had an IM conversation with a friend of mine currently living in Texas that just finished sitting on a criminal trial jury. He told me about it before the trial started, but I hadn’t heard from him since.

A Friend in Texas: Well, jury duty’s done.

trumwill: What was the result?

Texas: Sentenced him to 47 years without possibility of parole (which seems to just mean that he will just be eligible for parole a little later than he otherwise might).

trumwill: On a drug possession charge?!

Texas: With intent to distribute.

trumwill: Even so, 47 years?

Texas: He was a bad dude. He pretty much had a scouring look throughout the trial and made a threatening motion to the arresting cop when he got off the stand.

trumwill: Did he have a bunch of priors?

Texas: A previous felony distribution charge.

trumwill: 47 years?

Texas: The women on the jury wanted to give him 80. You think of women as being less hard-ass on crime, but it seems like anything that might affect children they go ruthless.

trumwill: Makes sense I guess.

trumwill: 47 years? Why in the world didn’t the guy plead out? Did he maintain innocence?

Texas: Not really. They caught him pretty dead-to-rights. He was throwing himself on the mercy of the court.

trumwill: Uhmmm, did this guy realize that he is being tried in Texas?

Texas: It appears to have slipped his mind. Drug use will do that to you.

Explanation

Name: Delosa
Postal Code: DA
Population: ~5,900,000
Capital City: Colosse
Largest City: Colosse
Electoral Votes: 12

Government: Independently elected Governor, Lt. Governor, Attorney General, State Treasurer, Insurance Commissioner, and five Transportation Commissioners. Two legislative houses, a higher State Senate with 30 seats and a State Assembly with 90 seats. The number of legislative seats are determined by congressional representation: each congressional seat houses three state senate seats, and each state senate seat houses three state assembly seats. The governorship and both legislatures are presently controlled by the Republican Party. The congressional delegation currently has 8 Republicans and 4 Democrats including one senator from each party.

Delosa is a state in the southern region of the United States of America. It was the twenty-third state admitted into the union and seceded in 1861 to join the original Confederate states. Despite pockets of liberalism in Colosse, Ephesus, and Bavaria, it is socially conservative and considered one of the most business-friendly states in America.

Delosa is one of the more culturally diverse states in the south. Most of the eastern portion of the state is populated by German Catholics that immigrated into the state during Reconstruction following the Austro-Prussian War in Europe and the Civil War in the United States. During Reconstruction they exerted heavy political influence, making Delosa one of the most Catholic-friendly states in the south. The eastern portion of the state is sometimes referred to as Bavariana, named after the German province that most of the settlers immigrated from.

The Germanic Catholic presence in Bavariana caused a strong backlash throughout central and western Delosa. South-central Delosa in particular became a regional headquarters of the Ku Klux Klan and remains one of the most socially conservative pockets in the country.

Anti-immigrant backlash was tempered in western Delosa by the rapid growth of the city of Colosse, much of which was fueled by so-called “carpetbaggers” from the north and particularly the upper midwest). Colosse became the banking center of the south and a hub of regional industry. The business culture of Colosse moderated the state’s otherwise culturally conservative population. West of Colosse are Ephesus and Jordan, two college towns known for their liberal populations.

In presidential politics, Delosa is considered somewhat safely Republican and is only contested in years of Democratic landslides. The moderately liberal politics of Colosse, southwestern Delosa and the moderate politics of Bavariana are overwhelmed by the conservative northern half of the state and extremely conservative south-central portion.

-{Cities of Note}-

Colosse (pop. 1,450,000): By far the largest city in the state with a metropolitan area comprising of over half of the state’s population. The city of Colosse has fewer than 1.5 million citizens, but the metropolitan area has more than three and is barely outside the fifteen largest in the nation. Colosse is the home to a sports team in most professional sports, including football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and soccer. Colosse’s economy was largely built on banking, though has branched out in recent decades. It also controls Colosse Bay, one of the largest seaports in the southern United States. [This is where I went to college and lived afterwards prior to relocating to Deseret -ed]

Delianapolis (pop 220,000) [pronounced Dee-lee-anna-pole-is]: One of the most historic towns in the state of Delosa and self-described cultural hub of the state. The metropolitan area has a population of nearly half-a million and they are the home to a AA minor league baseball team. Delianapolis is the second largest city in the state both in terms of population and geography.

Ephesus (pop 135,000): One of the cultural centers of Delosa, it is the home of the University of Delosa, the state’s flagship and land-grant university. Much of the city’s economy is built around the university, though in recent decades it has become a technology hub that almost rival’s Colosse’s IT sector. Ephesus is the second largest city in the state with an area population of about 300,000 people.

Beyreuth (pop. 115,000): The largest city in Bavariana and one of its cultural centers. It is home to Delosa Polytechnic Institute and the only technology center outside of southwestern Delosa with an emphasis on hardware design and manufacturing. Beyreuth is the fourth largest city in the state and combined with the surrounding areas has a population of about almost 200,000. [This is where Clancy is from -ed]

Gilead (pop 90,000): A conservative city in northern Delosa that is primarily known for Southern Cross University, which is located there. Gilead is the most conservative city in northern Delosa. It has a population of about 90,000.

Surfenberg (pop 60,000): A resort town on the southeastern corner of the state, in Bavariana. Crystal clear beaches and a thriving tourism industry make Surfenberg a significant contributor to the state’s economy. [This is where Clancy and I met -ed]

Mayne (pop 45,000): An economically successful suburb of Colosse. Much of its economy centers around Fort Tangre, a former air force installation primarily used for research and development of aircraft. A significant number of jobs are either with the Department of Defense or one of its contractors. Mayne and its surrounding communities have a population of around 150,000. [This is the suburb where I was raised -ed]

Davidsport (pop 15,000): A town in south-central Delosa notorious within the state for its racial homogeny. The federal government has tried to move black families into the town, but those attempts were not successful as eventually black families refused to be guinea pigs in the federal government’s mission of diversity.

-{Universities}-

University of Delosa (Delosa U, DU): The state’s flagship university and an NCAA powerhouse in numerous sports. Academically competitive for a state university, many Delosians find themselves surprised that their C-average didn’t get them in to the university. In addition to being the state’s foremost liberal arts university, it is also a land-grant university with an an agricultural and earth-science programs. With the primary campus in Ephesus, the University of Delosa System has schools in Colosse, Jordan, Mayne, and Delianapolis. The University of Delosa has a both a Law School and a Medical School. Their mascot is the Panther and their school colors are red and black.[My brothers attended this school]

Southern Tech University (Southern Tech, STU, Sotech, Tech, informally “Votech”): The state’s primary school of technology, math, and science. STU was originally started at Southern Technical College by the Colosse business community as a private college to educate the local workforce. The state absorbed Tech in the late 19th century, created colleges for the liberal arts, and changed the name to Southern Tech University in order to reflect the new, broader focus. Southern Tech became one of the earliest states in the south to desegregate and admit women. Southern Tech has been lobbying for a law school for several decades, but has yet to get one as there are already three in the city of Colosse. They do, however, have a pre-law undergraduate program. Their mascot is the Wolf Pack and their colors are black and gold.[I attended this school]

Southern Cross University (Cross, SCU, Socross): Very religious, conservative university in Gilead. They have a strong liberal arts curriculum and law school. It’s student population is largely comprised of wealthy young men from a variety of Christian backgrounds and poor white evangelicals. Their mascot is the Crusader and their school colors are scarlet and silver. [My best friend Clint went here]

Delosa State University (Delosa State, DSU): The state’s primary historically black liberal arts university. It was originally located in Jordan, but due to increase enrollment was relocated to some unused land owned by Southern Tech University. Aside from its HBCU distinction, DSU is mostly known within the state as its most poorly run university. The state frequently threatens to merge Delosa State with the University of Delosa System over the objections of DSU’s leadership. DSU is an open-enrollment university that accepts students of all colors, though over 90% of its student body is African-American. Their mascot is the Tiger and their colors are crimson and yellow.

Delosa A&T State University (Delosa A&T, A&T, DATSU): The state’s black engineering school. The university is located in conservative Firehole County roughly two hours away from Colosse. Some believe that it was located in the rural north-central part of the state in order to emphasize the agricultural portion of its mission while others believe it was to keep enrollment down to prevent blacks from learning the vocational skills that the university was required by the courts to offer to black youths. Delosa A&T does not have the administrative problems that its urban HBCU counterpart does, in part because it is in the Delosa Technical University System with Southern Tech, Delosa Poly, and the two-year Delosa Career Institute campuses. Their mascot is the Hornet and their colors are green and yellow.

Delosa Polytechnic University (Delosa Poly, DPU, informally “Delosa Tech”): Located in Beyreuth, Delosa’s original technology, math, and science university. Like its larger counterpart in Colosse, DPI started out as a two-year trade school and eventually expanded into a full university. Dixona Poly has been lobbying to change its name to “Dixona Tech”, but they have met some resistence from Southern Tech for fear of it causing confusion. It is legally barred from referring to itself using the “Dixona Tech” nickname, but students often do regardless. Their mascot is the Croc and their colors are green and black. [My father-in-law is a professor at this university]

University of Delosa at Colosse (UDC, Delosa-Colosse, UD-Colosse): The second largest school in the University of Delosa system and the third largest in the state, UDC is largely a commuter’s college with an emphesis in continuing education for older students. They have one of the better MBA programs in the state, a mediocre law school, and a medical school. They have an athletics program, though no football. Their mascot is the Duck and their colors are red, white, and blue.

University of Colosse (UC, UofC): Small, private, academically elite university in Colosse. It began as a religious institution though was secularized in the early twentieth century. Though not Ivy League, it does have a national reputation as a good, academically-oriented school. They have the most competitive and respectable law school in Delosa. Their mascot is the Bear and their colors are red and navy blue.

Delosa Christian University (DCU): Expensive private liberal arts university located in Colosse. Though religious in founding, it is not considered a zealously religious institution like Southern Cross. It’s mascot is a shark and its colors are blue and silver.

University of Delosa at Mayne (UDM): An upper-level school that coordinates with local junior colleges (particularly Mayne College) and does not offer general courses. In addition to undergraduate degrees, they offer graduate work in engineering, business, and technology. They have no athletics program and their school colors are blue and green.

Directional and formerly Directional Universities: Delosa used to have five directional universities. They all started out as teacher’s colleges and eventually expanded to be four year and graduate universities. Three of them were eventually incorporated into the University of Delosa System, though two decided to stay independent. For the most part these are “second choice” universities for those that couldn’t get into the original school of their choice or lived near the schools and couldn’t afford to relocate for college.

The directional universities are:
Northwestern Delosa State College in Tarsus, which is now the University of Delosa at Tarsus.
Delosa Western College in Jordan, which remains independent (though now called Delosa Western University) and is widely regarded as a “party school”.
Central Delosa State College, which remains independent and is now the University of Central Delosa. Located nearby Southern Cross University, it is often the choice of students that either fail out or cannot afford to go to that school.
Northeastern Delosa College in Delianapolis, which is now the University of Delosa at Delianapolis.
Delosa Coastal College in Wurzburg, which is now the University of Delosa at Wurzburg.

 

-{Explanation}-
For those new to Hit Coffee: I’m rather paranoid about releasing details about where I’m from and where I am. So I don’t mention any names and actually go a step further and genericize and fictionalize the locations. The specific locations are merely a backdrop I use to tell a story or try to make a point. I pull details from the places I am actually referring to as well as from similar places elsewhere to keep it generic. For the most part this post is the aggregate of a bunch of notes I’ve made to myself to try to stay consistent (remember differences between the fictional and real places and not keep coming up with new names for a place I’ve already talked about). I figured that I would share them with you so that you have a reference you can keep going back to. You can find this by clocking on the “DELOSA (DA)” link under “Places” on the right menu. Right now the other places are linked to posts and are not official guides, but I’ll probably organize my notes for those places, too, at some point.

The typical request coming from within our company typically has little or nothing in the way or written instruction. If we’re lucky they write an email or stick a Word document vaguely outlining what exactly it is that they want the software to do, but usually we don’t even get that. They’ll usually just poke their heads over the cubicle of development, who will then pass it on to us, and before we know it we’re playing a giant game of telephone where what has been added or modified is completely different from what the requestor had in mind. A couple times we’ve literally gotten a request passed along that was jotted down on a dirty napkin over lunch.

I’ve started working on some requests from Japan, which are a different bird entirely. Every expectation is documented in great detail. Everything from the patently obvious (”When Cancel is pressed, operation should cease”) to the unnecessary (”When they insert a letter on the order number, program should not crash and computer should not reboot”) to the gloriously specific (”Button should be moved 10-pixels off of the lower-right border. When pressed, button should take a slightly darker hue for one complete second before returning to normal color. If the operation has begun before the button returns to normal color, there is no need to complete the color alteration tasks”).

Whatever its idiosyncrises, they get precisely what they want and their requests get to our department (Quality Assurance) with startling accuracy. It seems that when we’re told what to do, we actually do it.

I was in a used bookstore in Shoshona a couple years ago looking over all sorts of non-fiction. Non-fiction often dates pretty quickly. The books from the early 80’s often explained why we needed to make our peace with Communist Russia, why fighting the Cold War was a waste of time, and so on. Interestingly enough, the books of the late 80’s and early 90’s often had a common theme as well: The Japanese are taking over. One former general predicted in his work that our battle with the Japanese wouldn’t just be economic but would turn military, another explained that they were succeeding because they were more cooperative and not as individualistic as Americans, and yet another explained that even though the Japanese seemed to be taking over it was in America’s best interest to continue to be America because we don’t have the cultural homogeny to become like Japan.

It jogged up a lot of memories that I had forgotten. When I was first becoming politically aware, Japanese dominance in the marketplace was a huge story. It really seemed inevitable. People on TV were taking baseball bats to Japanese-made electronics, President Clinton, later a free-trade warrior, was on TV announcing that he was going to start imposing serious tariffs on Japanese import cars. Then suddenly our economy started booming and theirs started cratering and it was all but forgotten in just a couple years.

As Pat and I sorted through our spaghetti-stained American requests and meticulous Japanese ones, we wondered why exactly that didn’t come to pass. I understand that there are economic reasons why Japan’s growth couldn’t persist indefinitely, but it’s very obvious to these two Americans why the Japanese are making Camries and Accords while Americans are making the Taurus.

On Half Sigma, David Alexander made the following observation:

It seems ironic that the people who should be thanking god for their high IQ are the same people who don’t believe in IQ while those who were “cheated” by by God are the most religious.

It is indeed ironic that those that have the most to thank a god for are the least religious while those upon whom God has bestowed less intellectual and material grace tend to be more religious. There are a couple of explanations for that. Some atheists believe that God is merely a stopgap for things that people don’t understand and less intelligent people understand less than more intelligent people. Some more crudely believe that religion is just dumb so dumb people are more religious.

Religious people and those inclined towards religion may surmise that the wealthier are more likely to be spoiled and believe that they do not need God’s grace, making it mostly a matter of hubris.

It reminds me a bit of something that I noticed in Deseret: far and away most of the outwardly religious people I knew out there were female. Mostly Mormons, of course, but even those of other faiths. I noticed the same in Delosa when it came to Catholics and even at my staid Episcopal Church, the social adhesive was predominantly female. This is hardly a unique observation as most statistics have shown women to be more religious than men and one fellow even wrote a book about it, which I’ll comment on in a bit.

I find this notable because historically speaking, organized religion has been less than entirely generous to women. Both the Catholic and Mormon churches reserve their highest posts for men to this day. If religions are institutions of control, it seems to me that they spend more time trying to control women than men.

And yet women are on the whole more religious than men. They are more likely to believe in God, more likely to go to church, and more likely to want to raise their children to be religious. Murrow in the aforementioned book believes that this is because the social setting of church has become more geared towards women than men in much the same way that some believe that our public schools have become “feminized”. There may be some truth to this, though I never saw that at my church (which, might I add, is among the more hospitable to women and in the largest denomination to be lead by a woman).

I think there are more obvious culprits. For instance, women are raised to be more right and proper than men and part of that entails going to church. Either because it is demanded of them or they’re just naturally inclined to, women seem to more often be conformists in general. For better or worse they’re also more social; nearly every high school social club was dominated by women. As any woman that’s been lost with a man and in need of directions will tell you, men are also less inclined to believe that they need help.

So there are plenty of reasons why women are on the whole more religious than men, but I nonetheless find it an interesting phenomenon.

Interestingly, to me, in the Truman household the husband is the more religious of the two, attends church more often (which isn’t saying much), and is going to be the one tugging for the kids to be raised in a more religious environment.