I had a dream a few nights back about my ex-girlfriend Evangeline. I was sitting alone on a couch with her. We were talking about this and that. I don’t really remember what. We weren’t flirting, but there was an uncomfortable warmth and ease. It was reminiscent of when we talked after I had met Clancy. There was the feeling that conversation between us was never this easy when it mattered most.
She paused and interrupted me. “There’s something I need to tell you…”
I nodded. “I know. I read it on his blog. When is the wedding?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I thought about emailing you or calling you. But I had no idea what to say.”
The dream was unusual only insofar as it was picture perfect for what could have taken place. I have been mulling over what kind of congratulations to give her off and on since I found out about her pending marriage. I feel like I shouldn’t feel anything at all, but in a way I do. It’s neither happiness (which would be appropriate) nor regret (which would be unfortunate in more than one way). It really isn’t often that I feel something that I cannot easily identify.