Over at Bobvis, a conversation about college education turned into a conversation about creepy older guys at college that couldn’t get any action.
Though I don’t have any creepy old guy stories, I have a creepy young guy story.
I was nonetheless reminded of Honors Chemistry II, which I took my junior year in college. For whatever reason, my class of 15 had only three guys in it. I was actually the only male to show the first day and one of them actually dropped the course before ever showing up..
I had to admit, I liked the odds!
I was actually sort of dating someone at the time, but my putative girlfriend and I were on a not-so-subtle race to see who could lend out of the relationship more safely and quickly than the other. I set my sights pretty quickly on a cute, smiley young lady named Kara.
Kara had already been partnered up with the Other Guy, who hadn’t shown up the first labs (neither had the third guy, but he’d dropped the course apparently before ever showing up). She had been working with me and my partner, which was how I had been getting to know her. So I wasn’t sure what to expect except an irrational fear of competition that had been drilled into me by a confidence-sapping significant other that had been persistently framing every boy she knew as potential competition for the four months that we’d gotten to know one another.
Anyway, so the guy finally showed.
He was wearing gel in his hair, jewelry all over, a smug smile, and more sexual desperation than I had ever seen on anybody in my entire life. Never in my life had I seen someone that oozed sexual frustration out of every poor of his body. You know that guy who pretends to be cool, but when he does it only outlines how uncool he is? Think Michael Scott from The Office. Yeah, this guy was pretending, from the get go, that he had ever had sex in his short and obviously miserable life, which was only outlining how lonely and desperate he was.
I can’t even explain what about him gave me the impression that I got, but my lab partner and Kara had apparently been thinking the exact same thing. “I need to take a shower whenever I think about him,” Kara later told me.
In some respects, I ought to feel sorry for the guy. He was most likely born with unexceptional (though not necessarily ugly) appearances. He was probably born utterly devoid of a personality. But some people just kick off a certain gear in your head that says “this guy is unsafe.” I don’t even know what I would fear that he might do, if alone with a woman and something went awry, but prior to meeting him I didn’t know such pitiable miscreants existed.
I ended up dropping the class myself. My interest in Kara waned the more I got to know her. The girl I was seeing beat me in the race out of the relationship that we both detested.