As we pass the 36th week, the greatest thing thus far is how relatively smoothly the pregnancy has gone. There was some morning sickness early on and some fatigue, but Clancy’s health has remained solid. As of a couple weeks ago, and even the weight-gain has been kept to recommendations (this was a concern, given her schedule and the ability to eat healthily).
A little while back, Rose had a post on comparative disabilities and her struggle to find sympathy for those that have kids with minor disabilities given her own child’s considerably more severe disabilities. I was reminded about an episode of Nip/Tuck involving two of the protagonists, Sean and Julia, and the later-in-life pregnancy of the latter. At first they were relatively enthusiastic, and then they found out the little guy was going to have Ectrodactyly (”claw hands”) and completely melted down.
Now, the show at this point was reaching down into excessive melodrama (I’d recommend the first season to just about anyone, though, without hesitation), so I’m not sure what the writer’s intent was. The result, though, was to make me detest the characters. Immediately advocating for an abortion on the basis of hands? I can vaguely understand on the basis of “We’ll try again, and maybe the next one won’t have this problem” but not so much in a late-in-life and unintended pregnancy.
With my wife being of “advanced maternal age”, as well as other things I won’t get into, there were a list of concerns about potential problems. We got the probability-determination for the Trisomies at the earliest opportunity. The results were good enough that we decided not to get an amnio. There was one thing, though. The doctor and technician couldn’t quite agree, but one of them thought that they saw… a cleft palate.
Cleft palates can actually be a big deal for non-cosmetic reasons (I have to confess that I didn’t know that). However, in this case, if it was there it was small. If it was small, it can be be removed on the tiniest of infants. Further, there was a doctor in town that was so good he would fly a grandchild out from the northeast to have it done out here. This would have zero impact on Jumping Bean’s life.
Reaction to this among the few people that we told varied, though of course nobody responded in the Sean/Julia vein. I had sort of been waiting for a shoe to drop and as far as this one went, we’d approach it as we got to it. I’d be lying if I said that I was unphased. It was, in a sense, the first indication that Jumping Bean might be… less than perfect. It gave me at least a little bit of insight into the Sean/Julia reaction. If not the all-out-freak-out, then the big of disconcerting even a small thing can bring. Their issue was bigger than ours.
There was no cleft palate. That was the good news of the second visit. The third visit gave us warning of something else: Jumping Bean is breech. Now, babies start out that way most of the time or always and then flip at some point. In this case, though, 90% of babies have flipped and JB has not. There would still be a 67% chance JB wold flip late, but for a variety of reasons Clancy’s considered judgment is that it will not happen in this case without a version.
In the event of a breech, Clancy will go to c-section. Which, for a obstetrics doctor who favors letting nature run its course, is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow. She would have been interested in midwifery or homebirth if we lived in a place that it was possible and circumstance permitted. This was really not on the agenda.
Clancy has commented before that pregnancy is your body’s way of letting you know that you are not in control anymore. Preparing you for the next phase, wherein your control over your own life is greatly diminished. She typically means this in the sense of sickness, exhaustion, body changes, and so on. I suppose, in a sense, it may apply to this to. And as with the cleft palate, in the greater scheme of things, this isn’t Ectrodactyly, much less something serious.
So in that sense, a solid thank you to Sean and Julia for teaching by way of their negative example.
Sounds like you and Clancy have a healthy (literally and figuratively) approach to pregnancy. Glad the cleft palette thing was a false alarm; hope the C-section either isn’t necessary or goes smoothly. Sorry I haven’t kept in touch better!
Comment by Linus — September 25, 2012 @ 8:55 pm
Well Bree Walker managed. Her two children have inherited her disorder.
However, to me ectrodactyly is an abortable offense. Why give your children the burden of having to live with such a thing?
Comment by ScarletKnight — September 25, 2012 @ 10:24 pm
Linus, no problem! Lots going on. So far we are just astounded at how well this has gone (at least for Clancy). I forgot to mention in the post that among the things we were worried about was her inability to take Aleve. It’s been a complete non-issue because her persistent headaches went away. We think they might be related to her birth control. Lesson learned!
Comment by trumwill — September 25, 2012 @ 11:09 pm
Walker actually had a cameo in the arc. Sean was talking to someone afflicted while trying to figure out what to do.
However, to me ectrodactyly is an abortable offense. Why give your children the burden of having to live with such a thing?
Because the alternative for the child sucks more?
Comment by trumwill — September 25, 2012 @ 11:11 pm
If your age is advanced enough, you might not want to risk trying again–a child with ectrodactyly is better than no child.
(It’s ‘unfazed’ for ‘unruffled’, BTW. I love ‘unphased’–it reminds me of the Phase Spiders from Pool of Radiance–but it isn’t correct.)
Comment by SFG — September 26, 2012 @ 5:00 pm
Because the alternative for the child sucks more?
Yes, but the burden-child must be sacrificed for the good of the family.
Yes I am ruthlessly heartless when it comes to this sort of thing. I think abortion should be legal through the fourth trimester.
Comment by ScarletKnight — September 26, 2012 @ 5:17 pm
I have a little bit of sympathy for parents who can rationalize “We’ll skip this one, but then we will have a healthy kid” from a utilitarian analysis. It’s different when there’s not going to be another one.
Comment by trumwill — September 26, 2012 @ 6:40 pm
It seems to me that the human body has evolved beyond where we should be expected to give birth “naturally.” We’re definitely not designed to give birth unassisted, at minimum. C-sections are the price of walking upright. Clancy may disagree, in which case I’ll defer to her greater experience with the topic. But she should take comfort in at least with a C, they won’t have to slice anything *below* the belly.
I was very happy to have an amnio for each child. I benefited from the absolute reassurance that the child did not have Down Syndrome.
Comment by stone — September 27, 2012 @ 12:47 am
I remember now that with my first, I was “breech” until a very short time before the birth. Then he turned around the way he was supposed to.
Comment by stone — September 27, 2012 @ 12:49 am
I remember now that with my first, I was “breech” until a very short time before the birth. Then he turned around the way he was supposed to.
Comment by stone — September 27, 2012 @ 12:50 am
Sheila,
That’s an interesting thought, c-sections being the price of walking upright. The availability of c-sections is pretty crucial to things, that’s for sure. Babies can be delivered vaginally in the breech position. Clancy didn’t even consider the possibility, though. One of the downsides to farm midwifery is the delay in how quickly you can reach a hospital when you need to. C-sections may be overused, but when they’re needed, they’re needed.
The trisomy screening gave us less of a chance of a positive result than the average 20-something mother. Of course, 1-in-2000 odds don’t mean much if you happen to actually be that 1. My position was that Clancy’s position (whatever it was) would be my position.
She got another ultrasound yesterday and JB is still very breech. The version should be next Tuesday. We have to be prepared for the minute possibility that JB will get annoyed and decide that e wants out.
Comment by trumwill — September 27, 2012 @ 4:43 pm