A long time ago we had an OSI QA tech named Teddy Forbes. Someday I will tell the entire story, but in short Teddy was unjustifiably arrogant, condescending, smug, and lazy. Much like Golden Boy was a few months ago, he was bumped up from programming to QA because he was getting no programming done and he had somehow convinced George Welton that he would be better in a position more befitting his skill level and experience. Rewarded for his laziness and arrogance, he dug in his heels further and decided that he wasn’t going to put forth any effort until he was promoted out of RLC altogether.

It was apparent for months that he was not getting any work done. He made no effort to hide it. He volunteered for additional projects, but when he wasn’t getting those he did nothing. Usually when you say that somebody gets nothing done it’s an exaggeration, but not so with Teddy. He honestly felt that his job was beneath him and he wasn’t going to do it until they either got him out of the department or he was given a big enough raise to justify his trouble.

His boss Carl Davis got a job elsewhere. Fellow QA associate (and Carl’s younger brother) Micky Davis was promoted out of the department and other QA tech Mindy was in line for a different promotion. The last straw was when QA was moved deeper into the RLC department that he wanted to get out of. So he issued an ultimatum: If you don’t give me a promotion right now, I’m out of here. Willard, who was his boss at this point, said that he would confer with the higher ups.

My bud Simon is a rather quiet person. Until he got a bunch of his friends jobs with the company, he rarely talked to anybody except me. He’s also really good at keeping his nose to the grindstone and out of company business. He’s the last person you would expect to speak up on personnel decisions. But he was so disgusted at the possibility of Teddy getting a promotion for doing nothing, that he sent Willard an email saying something to the effect of:

Teddy either has or will issue an ultimatum that he wants out of the department or he is leaving the country. You know as well as the rest of us that Teddy is openly non-productive, abrasive with his coworkers, and providing the company very little in return for what he’s being paid. Stan Axley, on the other hand, is the hardest working person in this company. He has been denied every opportunity here because he’s so important at what he does. He’s so important because he has learned the industry backwards and forwards both on and off the job and works his tail off.

If you give Teddy a promotion while Stan lanquishes in RLC, you will be sending the message loud and clear that the way to get held back in this company is to work hard and the way to get ahead is to do absolutely nothing and flaunt it.

Repordedly, Willard printed out the email and took it to the COO’s office.

An hour later, Teddy Forbes was unemployed.