The party’s over. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life being one of those people who grills chicken breasts and eats salads for my main course. Oh, and white wine spritzers. I’m sure a lot of it is the liquor.
I think I’ve been kidding myself that the type of calories made a difference. This is classy, expensive fat I’m wearing. Sushi fat, foie gras fat, gourmet home cooking fat, fancy cocktails with muddled homegrown herbs fat. And lots of vegetables! Unfortunately, vegetables don’t have negative calories.
I had figured after I had the last baby, the weight was just going to drop off. Or, I’d find all kinds of time to work out on maternity leave. But, no, I’m going to have to waddle back into a courtroom full of Size 2s next week and face the music in whatever suits still fit me.
The times in my life I’ve been thin, I didn’t work all that hard at it. My lifestyle just kind of made it happen. More natural activity; fewer opportunities to eat. I was figuring that eventually, things would shift my way again. I don’t think it’s going to happen. I’m just going to have to be less fun. A low-fat life. Maybe even non-fat.
Isn’t a big part of the good part of being married coming home to a nice meal, with your wife shaking up cocktails? I bet no one fantasizes about coming home to a salad. Well, maybe Phi does. Maybe he’ll give me his Mediterranean Chicken Salad recipe.
If only I were married to this guy. My husband is an ectomorph who jumps rope in the living room at 6 a.m.
The thing about nowadays: Anywhere I go, I’m in good company. I don’t know if there’s anywhere with all skinny people anymore. Maybe Manhattan? But certainly not Los Angeles. Even trendy Los Angeles, even rich Los Angeles. Hollywood, Rodeo Drive*, even the opera. Lots of women of all ages rocking the Meghan McCain look, or more.
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*I was there buying cheese.
Wait … you say there’s no place with all skinny people anymore, but you also refer to, ahem, waddling back into a courtroom full of Size 2’s. Sounds like the courtroom is the last bastion of skinny people.
Comment by Peter — June 24, 2010 @ 11:45 am
stone,
If the woman I’ve been seeing for the past few months were to greet me with a salad prepared for dinner, I’d be perfectly fine w/ it. Matching her eating habits is something I generally enjoy anyways.
Comment by web — June 24, 2010 @ 12:26 pm
“Sounds like the courtroom is the last bastion of skinny people.”
Hmmm. Well, not everyone’s like that, but a disproportionate amount. Even the judge. What, is she worried she’ll outgrow her robe?!
Web: “Matching her eating habits is something I generally enjoy anyways.”
God, that’s so beta.
Just kidding. Yes, Mr. Tone has reassured me several times that salad and grilled chicken are just fine. he pats his stomach and says “We can all stand to eat healthier.”
What he’s SUPPOSED to say is, “Sheila, don’t you dare lose an ounce. You were way too skinny before.”
Comment by Sheila Tone — June 24, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
stone - the woman in question is a semi-vegetarian (basically, limits to fish or eggs for protein). Having had previous relationships/roommates who complained about the cooking “smell” of things like baked salmon, having an excuse to make more fish dishes (which I like anyways) is actually quite happy!
As to the rest: remember, when a woman asks a man anything even closely resembling a question regarding her weight, that automatically should engage his fight-or-flight reflex. We’re not supposed to deal with that question if we know what’s good for us.
Comment by web — June 24, 2010 @ 1:33 pm
Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Tone lacks that lifesaving reflex. He thought it was absolutely hilarious the other day when he saw an ad for an upscale women’s boutique called “Abundance.” He had to point it out to me. “(giggle, giggle)Abundance of WHAT?(giggle).”
I chastised him that if men can be “big and tall,” women can be “abundant.”
Comment by Sheila Tone — June 24, 2010 @ 2:26 pm
I do like a good salad. Having one tonight, in fact. Of course, by “good” I mean “almost entirely bereft of nutritional value.”
The times in my life I’ve been thin, I didn’t work all that hard at it. My lifestyle just kind of made it happen. More natural activity; fewer opportunities to eat.
So much is environmental. My most severe (post-HS) weight-gain came when I was working at places where everyone went out to eat every day. For some people the hardest part can be, as you put it, being no fun.
I’m just going to have to be less fun. A low-fat life. Maybe even non-fat.
As a veteran of attempted weight-loss, be careful about this. Particularly the “non-fat” part. Unless it’s something you genuinely like, it can actually be counterproductive. I have tried soy cheese and non-fat cheese and while I didn’t think it was terrible, it made it a really hard pattern to stick with. Low-fat, on the other hand, I found to be entirely doable. In some cases (part-skim mazzarella to regular) I find that I actually prefer it. Also, when it comes to cheese - and this is important! - don’t buy the cheap stuff. There’s no kind of cheese I do not like… except the cheap stuff.
Anyhow one of the things I have found worth focusing on - broadly speaking - is finding out what I *can* do. Trying to stretch the limits of what I can do is like trying to stretch a rubber band.
On the other hand, if you can eat fat-free stuff without missing the real stuff, that’s totally awesome. Clancy eats a combination of fat-free cottage cheese and fat free plain yogurt every morning. I wish I could do that. I can do the fat-free vanilla yogurt, but that’s because sugar is an acceptable substitute to my palate for fat.
One advantage I have is being male (a bigger advantage is still being relatively young). One of the things that I needed to do was actually be comfortable with myself so that I wouldn’t stretch myself too hard. Since it’s easier for guys to get away with being overweight, that was easier for me to do than if I had been a woman.
Comment by trumwill — June 24, 2010 @ 3:40 pm
You sound silly.
Eat and drink whatever comes naturally. Whatever weight you are, that’s the weight you are supposed to be.
Don’t worry about hubby leaving you. Even if he does, you can collect vagina-mony and child support, so you will be good to go.
That reminds me, when I was young, there was a women’s clothing store that was called “16 Plus: A Size, not an Age”. Not knowing what that meant, I asked a fat friend of my mother’s to tell me. She was not amused.
Comment by Mike Hunt — June 24, 2010 @ 8:11 pm
Are there any small lifestyle tweaks you can make?
Walking up and down stairs instead of taking an elevator, walking or biking for errands instead of riving, that sort of thing.
Or join Mr. Tone for the 6am jump rope, even!
As a fan of your blog posts, Ms. Stone, let me just say I will think you are awesome no matter what you look like offline ^-^
Comment by Nanani — June 24, 2010 @ 8:47 pm
Sounds like the courtroom is the last bastion of skinny people
The lawyers or your clients? If it’s the latter, I don’t think you’d want their diet regime…
What he’s SUPPOSED to say is, “Sheila, don’t you dare lose an ounce. You were way too skinny before.”
It seems like he’s running some crude version of game.
Lots of women of all ages rocking the Meghan McCain look
It’s different because she’s merely “chubby” and pretty.
Comment by David Alexander — June 25, 2010 @ 1:37 am
As requested.
Comment by ? — June 25, 2010 @ 6:55 am
Thanks, Phi!
Comment by Sheila Tone — June 25, 2010 @ 8:52 am
Hi Sheila,
Some suggestions that have worked for me, from one time-crunched and genetically not super-skinny woman to another:
1) Primal diet (paleo but with improvements), see marksdailyapple.com. Start with some of the “intro to primal diet” type stuff on the blog. Low-fat is overrated and counterproductive, plus torturous.
2) Being a size 2 is overrated - being relatively lean and well proportioned at one’s size is way better than being little but skinny-fat (it’s not about size, it’s about body fat %, which you can shift in your favor). Not to brag but: Can those size 2 lawyers do weighted pull-up? I can.
T-nation.com (don’t be put off by the somewhat cheesy look of the site) has some good info on time-efficient weight training (which is generally a better match for non-ectomorphic body types than cardio-bunnydom). It can be done at home in bits and pieces of time: start with a weighted vest like an X-vest (for walks, squats/lunges, push-ups, eventually weighted pullups - get a doorway pull-up bar). Go for the 84 lb (max weight availale) version and start with just minimal lbs, e.g.
Comment by Escapist — June 26, 2010 @ 2:53 pm
Here’s the rest of my comment (the blog software here ate it):
…e.g.
Comment by Escapist — June 26, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
e.g.
Comment by Escapist — June 26, 2010 @ 2:57 pm
Anyway, the rest of the suggestion is: start with low weight and work up. Also, fish-oil tablets are a good supplement to add to your diet for body-composition improvement
Comment by Escapist — June 26, 2010 @ 3:00 pm
(Nelson Muntz voice) “Haw-Haw! You gained weight after pregnancy! Haw-Haw!”
Seriously, I’ve been dealing with weight since my high-school days. It’s no fun, and I wish you the best of luck.
Comment by Kirk — June 27, 2010 @ 12:11 pm