Read no further if the subject of bowel movements, toilets, and plungers puts you off.
As I’ve mentioned before, up until a couple years ago having a purely solid BM was a rarity for me. Since going on my fiber diet, it’s become pretty common. Also, toilets have moved in the direction of less powerful to conserve water to save on water bills and due to environmental concerns.
This has created a game of sorts.
If after your deposit, you flush the toilet and it all goes down without incident, the toilet wins and you lose.
If you have to flush twice with no or minimal toilet paper (using toilet paper on the first flush is cheating), you score a mild victory.
When you break out the plunger, you have won handily.
But… you know the game of Hearts? For those of you that don’t, in Hearts the goal is to avoid getting hearts (and the Queen of Spades) in your pile. You get a point for each heart and 13 points for the queen and the person with the fewest points wins. However, if you get all of the hearts and the queen, you get zero points and everyone else gets 26. It’s called Shooting the Moon or Running the Deck.
Well, there’s a scenario in the Toilet Game like that. If you flush and the toilet gets overwhelmed out of sight and the next time you flush you end up with (thankfully not brown, but still icky) water overflowing and flooding the bathroom and kitchen… you can call that a victory. In reality, though, the toilet just Ran the Deck and kicked your patootie.
Yeah, I had my patootie kicked. Fortunately, the deposit was far enough down that the water that overflowed was not obviously contaminated (with #2 and fortunately it was a very light #1 that instigated this) as long as you look at it as the “out of sight, out of mind” sort of way.
I’ve tried to convince myself that I defeated the toilet with mere urination, but it’s really hard to position this as any sort of victory.
It was so much easier back in the outhouse days. No plungers, no clogs, no wasting water. No need for paper, either, just use some dried corn cobs.
Comment by Peter — June 29, 2010 @ 1:32 pm
Happiness is a good dump and a toilet that always flushes
Comment by Killraven — June 30, 2010 @ 8:31 am
Man, I used to make jokes about German schiesse videos, but this takes the cake…
Comment by SFG — June 30, 2010 @ 8:16 pm
Two thoughts:
1. Low-flow toilets should have two handles. One for bigger flushes, one smaller.
2. The most comments I ever received in my blog is from my post on removing my ear wax. If I had taken pictures, I think would have received more comments than anything posted in SWPL.
Comment by Kirk — July 1, 2010 @ 11:03 pm