Phi thinks we don’t really know what happened. But it’s completely obvious to me.
This is why the concept of “dating market value” based exclusively on appearance is not only crap, but dangerous. Phoebe Prince was pretty. She apparently thought that ought to be worth something. Fat lot of good it did her. The guys she got together with either found or got back together with girlfriends, then turned on her, and egged on their girlfriends’ bulldog-faced girl buddies against her.
Seriously: If you’re in a group setting and you’re not already popular, do not bother with sex or anything sex-related. Don’t bother trying to look or act like someone anyone would want to have sex with, whether they’re popular or not, or you actually have the sex or not. You can’t handle the trouble that comes with attention.
The social world is about competition. Now, you might think that by being sexually attractive, you’re adding value to a situation, and people would be thankful and treat you well. You’re wrong. What you’re really doing is competing for a share of limited resources, and competition means conflict. Conflict sucks when you’re outnumbered.
Who do you suppose will take your side in the conflict? The guys you hooked up with? Wrong. Forget about any pleasantness after some other female attaches herself to them. How nasty they’ll be depends on her wishes.
But if you’re pretty, the guys you hooked up with will stay with you, right? Probably not. Life attached to an unpopular person really sucks. This is true regardless of the attractiveness of the person with whom you got together. So drop the little high school movie pipe dream about that unpopular guy with the heart of gold who worships you.
What about the guys you wouldn’t hook up with? You know better than to even ask. They’re mad. And now they know they don’t even have to be nice.
Your girlfriends? Let’s see, do you really have any? Of the women who’ll hang around you in any capacity: Do guys like them? Probably not, or there’d be that critical mass of at least two of you who looked good and had each other’s back, and you’d be popular. So why the hell would they stick their necks out to help you out of the trouble you got into because guys liked you?
This isn’t just high school garbage. This applies anywhere there are groups, anywhere being outside a group can hurt you. It happens at work, too. And it happens whether you actually let anyone touch you or not. If you say no, they’ll resent and retaliate. If you say yes, well, go back to the part about when they get a girlfriend. If you say no — same result with the later girlfriend. Especially if she’s management. How well I know.
And it’s not really about being loose or not. So stop trying to figure out how far Phoebe Prince went with whom at what time. Popular people do sleazy stuff all the time. Understand that it doesn’t matter what you actually do. “Slut” isn’t really a moral condemnation in that situation. It’s just shorthand for “You lost.”
To recap: Being sexually attractive does not get you power in a group setting. It is only for people who are powerful already. You’ve got no business with it otherwise. Dog yourself up, gain weight, and find asexual girlfriends to chat about TV shows with.